The Gift of Transition: A Deep Dialogue with Myself

Life is filled with transitions, like opening a door to the unknown. You never know if you’ll step into a sunlit field or a stormy valley. In these moments, there’s always an internal tug-of-war: should I stay in the comfort of familiarity or take a leap into the unknown?

The Pull Between Uncertainty and Comfort

What does uncertainty feel like? For me, it’s a tearing sensation. One voice whispers, “You’ve grown used to this life. Why take the risk?”

But another voice shouts, “You can’t spend your whole life like this! Go on, try! How will you know unless you do?”

I stood between these two voices, like a lone traveller facing misty unknowns ahead and a seemingly calm path behind.

My First Transition: From Customs declarant to Something Greater

The first significant transition in my career came during my time as a customs declarant. The repetitive, monotonous nature of the work—processing document after document—left me feeling stifled. I began questioning myself:

“Is this all I’m capable of? Is this my future?”

A Malaysian colleague, Mr. Chan, once said to me, “Xiao Bu Dian, you can’t stay in customs work forever. You’re capable of so much more.” His words struck a chord, prompting me to reflect deeply on my future.

At the time, the company offered training opportunities, but only for employees with university degrees. I wasn’t eligible. It felt unfair and reinforced my feelings of inadequacy. Yet, amid that frustration, I realised that if I didn’t take the initiative to change, I’d remain stuck forever.

A Reminder That Changed Everything: “You’re Not Qualified to Talk About Failure”

Motivation to change often comes from external triggers. One weekend, I joined a friend to observe customs officers working on smuggling cases. Walking along muddy paths surrounded by overgrown grass, I confided in one of the officers about my doubts and struggles. “I feel like such a failure,” I said. “My work feels meaningless, and my future seems bleak.”

He laughed softly and said something I’ll never forget: “You’re not qualified to talk about failure.”

Those words hit me like a thunderclap. At that moment, I realised my feelings of failure stemmed from setting my goals too low. How could I talk about failure when I hadn’t truly challenged myself?

Another Major Shift: From China to New Zealand, and Beyond to Sri Lanka

I spent over 40 years living and working in China. From factory worker to customs Declarant, to office administrator, and finally deputy general manager, my career was a steady climb. Along the way, I also founded my own café and created a coffee brand. This chapter of my life filled me with pride. My café, nestled on a bustling street in Guangzhou, quickly gained popularity. Every morning, I would grind fresh coffee beans and brew aromatic cups that kept my loyal customers coming back.

But challenges arose. To expand the business, I partnered with someone to open a second café. Unfortunately, her destructive attitude disrupted the team’s harmony. As conflicts escalated, I decided to temporarily step away from the business, hoping she would reconsider our partnership. Sadly, her hostility persisted, and I realised the relationship was irreparable. At this turning point, I made the bold decision to move to New Zealand with my son.

In 2011, we left China and arrived in New Zealand. Everything felt foreign, the language, the culture, the way of life. Yet, amidst the challenges, there was a sense of excitement. I still remember our first night in a small apartment, watching snowflakes drift outside the window, as if welcoming us to this new chapter.

I started with small steps: applying for a library card, learning driving, understanding the local education system, and exploring the community. These simple tasks helped me adapt and taught me the value of resilience. In my diverse professional journey, one of the most unexpected and delightful roles I took on was as an Activities Coordinator at a beautiful and elegant retirement village. This village, part of one of the largest and most reputable health care organisations in New Zealand and Australia, had an excellent reputation. It was a role I deeply loved, where I planned activities, helped seniors learn new skills, and built meaningful connections with them. They fondly called me “Magic Mei,” and this sense of belonging brought me immense warmth and joy.

However, life had yet another transition in store for me. In November 2024, I experienced a significant turning point. For the first time in my life, I attended a hypnotherapy session. During this guided experience, the therapist acted like a tour guide, exploring the intricate pathways of my mind. Through this process, I gained clarity about my true calling: becoming a writer.

This revelation filled me with newfound motivation. I realised that no matter how winding the road ahead might be, writing my story and documenting life’s growth is what I genuinely aspire to do. This shift in identity gave me a clearer sense of purpose and a deeper understanding of myself.

As a family, we then decided to move to Sri Lanka. This vibrant country, with its intoxicating scents of spices, the laughter of children, and warm community spirit, is both exciting and challenging. Transitioning from New Zealand to Sri Lanka is more than just a change of environment; it is an opportunity to redefine our family dynamics and immerse ourselves in a new culture.

The Wisdom of Transition: Discovering Hidden Gifts

Every transition is like an invisible gift. It may come disguised as uncertainty or discomfort, but once you take that first step, you’ll uncover new perspectives, skills, and a deeper understanding of yourself.

From China to New Zealand, I learned how to find my place in an unfamiliar culture. From New Zealand to Sri Lanka, I reconnected with the importance of family and heritage. And through the hypnotherapy session that affirmed my identity as a writer, I discovered the true meaning of transition.

The gift of transition lies not only in new beginnings but also in the process of rediscovering yourself.

May everyone experiencing a transition find their own hidden gift.

-To Be Continued EP006-