The Distance of Love: Maintaining Emotional Bonds in Long-Distance Relationships
"True love isn’t measured by distance—it’s sustained by intention."
In today’s globalised world, long-distance relationships have become a part of life. Whether it’s due to studying abroad, immigration, cross-cultural marriages, or remote work, many of us have family, friends, and loved ones scattered across different countries.
Once upon a time, physical distance meant emotional distance. But now, technology allows us to stay connected at all times. Yet, despite instant messaging and video calls, maintaining meaningful relationships across different time zones is still a challenge.
So how do we keep love alive across the miles? Is it about waiting and longing, or about creating connections despite the distance?
Long-Distance Family Bonds: Love Beyond Borders
"Even across time zones, a parent’s care never fades."
For me, one of the deepest long-distance experiences has been with my family.
From China to New Zealand, then Sri Lanka, and now spending part of each year in Italy, my life has taken me across multiple countries. Unlike many families who rely on group chats to stay in touch, I prefer a more personal approach, keeping in close contact with a few family members rather than maintaining a constant stream of messages in a big chat.
My sister and I mainly communicate via WeChat, sharing bits of our daily lives. She might send me photos of our hometown, or sometimes just a short voice message—simple moments that remind me of the bond we’ve always had.
My family doesn’t call every day, but every now and then, I get a message: “It’s getting colder—make sure you stay warm.” It’s just a few words, but it never fails to warm my heart.
During Chinese New Year and other holidays, they’ll send photos of family gatherings. Even though I’m not there, they always make sure I feel included, reminding me that no matter where I am, I am still part of the family.
Long-distance family relationships aren’t about constant messages—they’re about knowing that, no matter the miles, you are always in each other’s hearts.
Friendships Across Time Zones: Keeping the Right People Close
"As we grow older, we start filtering friendships—not every old connection is worth holding onto."
One thing I’ve learned over time is that not all friendships are meant to last. At one point, I joined my old high school and middle school WeChat groups, thinking it would be a great way to reconnect. But I quickly realised that conversations often felt empty, and in many cases, our perspectives on life had grown apart.
So, I made the decision to leave those groups.
Not because I don’t appreciate the past, but because forcing conversations that no longer resonate with me feels unnatural.
That said, I haven’t cut ties with all my old classmates. I still keep in touch with a few close friends through one-on-one WeChat conversations. Even though we don’t chat every day, when we do, it’s meaningful:
We exchange book recommendations or discuss films that have made an impact on us, rather than just engaging in small talk.
A simple “Hey, how have you been?” is sometimes all it takes to remind each other that the friendship is still there, even after all these years.
Friendship in adulthood is about quality, not quantity. The ones who stay are the ones who truly matter.
Friendships Across Cultures: New Zealand, Sri Lanka & Italy
"Different cultures express friendships in different ways."
Because of the way my husband and I live, I’ve built friendships in New Zealand, Sri Lanka, and Italy. Each country has its own unique way of expressing love and friendship, and over the years, I’ve adapted to these differences.
Friends in New Zealand: Kiwis are quite direct and practical. Instead of long, sentimental messages, they’ll just say “We haven’t caught up in ages—coffee?” When they say they want to see you, they genuinely mean it.
Friends in Sri Lanka: Here, people prefer real-time conversations—either by phone or voice messages. I had to adjust to this, as I was more used to texting, but over time, I realised their way of communicating actually makes friendships feel more alive and spontaneous.
Friends in Italy: Italians are incredibly warm and expressive. They’ll hug you when they see you, share personal stories in detail, and always extend an invitation to their home. Whenever my husband and I return to Italy, our friends flood us with messages like “When are you coming? We need to go wine tasting together this time!”
Although we are in different countries, we stay connected by adapting to each other's communication styles. Some friends love long, thoughtful messages, while others just send a quick "Ciao! Come stai?" (Hi! How are you?). True friendship doesn’t fade with distance—it just finds new ways to exist.
Long-Distance Love: Time & Space as the Ultimate Test
"Love isn’t about constant physical presence—it’s about feeling each other’s presence no matter where you are."
I’ve experienced long-distance love, and my marriage itself is a cross-cultural one, so I know how distance can test relationships.
The hardest part of long-distance relationships is the mismatch of time and space. When you want to share a moment, your partner is asleep. You’re living separate lives, with different daily routines. But the truth is, distance doesn’t break love—emotional disconnection does.
So how do you keep love alive across the miles?
Create Shared Experiences
My husband and I have, at times, watched the same movie while apart, then called each other to discuss it—something small, but it made us feel like we were in the same place.
Scheduling "long-distance date nights" can help keep the connection alive, even when you can’t be together physically.
Trust & Independence
It’s easy to let distance trigger insecurity, but the healthiest relationships are built on trust. You don’t need to be in constant contact, as long as you both trust that the love is there.
Surprise Each Other
A handwritten letter, an unexpected gift, or even a random “Thinking of you” message can make all the difference.
While my marriage isn’t technically long-distance, the cultural differences and constant travel create their own challenges. But by learning to understand each other’s ways of expressing love, we’ve made it work.
Distance is only a test—it’s the strength of the relationship that determines whether you pass.
How to Keep Love Alive Across the Miles
1. Find the right way to communicate
Some people prefer video calls, others like text messages. Find what works best for both of you.
2. Set a rhythm for staying in touch
Whether it’s a weekly catch-up with family, a quick check-in with friends, or a planned virtual date night with your partner, setting a pattern helps maintain relationships.
3. Make each other feel "present"
Share little updates, joys, and frustrations. Let people know they’re still a part of your life, even from a distance.
Conclusion: Real Love is Never Defeated by Distance
Some say distance weakens relationships, but I believe distance isn’t the issue—neglect is.
Across different countries and time zones, we can still nurture our relationships if we make the effort. Real love—whether family, friendship, or romance—doesn’t fade with miles. It only grows stronger when both sides choose to keep it alive.
Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship? What helped you keep the bond strong? Share your story—I’d love to hear it!
-To Be Continued EP015-
