The Women Who Shaped Me: Four Lessons on Love and Life

Throughout a woman's journey of growth, there are always those "heroines" who quietly illuminate the path ahead from different times and places.

For me, four women left the deepest marks on my life. Their stories, their strength, and their spirits shaped the kind of woman I aspire to be.

Yamaguchi Momoe: Gracefully Saying Goodbye at Her Peak

In high school, my close friend Qing was obsessed with Japanese star Yamaguchi Momoe. Perhaps because she looked like her, Qing mimicked everything from Momoe’s hairstyle and clothes to her speech and gestures. Every visit to Qing’s home felt like stepping into a Momoe shrine, with posters and magazines covering the room.

Through Qing, I learned Momoe's story.

Debuting at just 13, Momoe quickly rose to stardom despite a difficult childhood. But what moved me most was her decision to leave it all behind. In 1980, at the height of her fame, she bid farewell to the stage in an all-white gown, singing Last Song for You as tears streamed down her face. She ascended on the platform like a white butterfly, gracefully ending her career.

She said to her fans:

"Please forgive my selfish decision. Thank you for your blessings. I promise you—I will be happy."

At just 21, she already understood how to let go, stay true to herself, and honor love with dignity.

Decades later, she still lives quietly with her husband, Miura Tomokazu. To me, she is not just an icon, but someone who taught me the courage to choose my own path—and to leave when it’s time.

Scarlett O’Hara: The Words That Got Me Through

Qing once lent me a copy of Gone with the Wind, giving me just a week to finish. I devoured it, even sneaking pages in during dull classes.

Scarlett O’Hara captivated me. Proud, stubborn, and passionate, she endures the loss of her home, her child, her husband—and still stands tall, telling herself:

"After all, tomorrow is another day."

Those words became my mantra.

Whenever I faced setbacks, I reminded myself that tomorrow would come, and the past could be left behind.

In my teenage years, longing to escape my small mountain town in southern China, I found power in stories like Scarlett’s. In a world with little access to outside information, books, magazines, and music became my window to a wider world.

Dong Mingzhu: The Romance of Going All In

At 19, I started working in Shenzhen. Surrounded by worldly colleagues and my first encounters with foreigners, my view of the world expanded overnight.

But the most profound influence came from reading Chess Moves Across the World, the early biography of Dong Mingzhu.

Widowed young, Dong Mingzhu moved to Zhuhai with her child and started as a saleswoman at Gree Electric. Through relentless hard work, she rose to become the CEO of one of China's most famous brands.

She showed me that women can define their lives through ambition and perseverance.

Once, I thought romance belonged only to love. Later, I realized that dedicating yourself fully to a mission—and becoming a breathtaking force in the process—is its own kind of romance.

Eileen Chang: Loving Deeply, Leaving Gracefully

In matters of love, Eileen Chang became my quiet guide.

Her tragic love story with Hu Lancheng is well-known—her famous line, "Falling into the dust, I bloomed," captures her devotion. Yet Hu betrayed that love.

What did Eileen do?

She did not rage. She did not accuse. She simply turned away and devoted herself to her writing. With elegance and composure, she moved on, leaving the ruins behind and preserving her dignity.

I have always admired her for that.

In my own love life, I’ve tried to do the same—no forcing, no entangling, no tearing each other down.

When my first marriage ended, I never spoke ill of my ex-husband. I encouraged our son to continue respecting and staying close to his father.

Fifteen years later, their bond remains strong. Incredibly, my husband and my ex and his family have even become friends.

There are many kinds of love. Perhaps the best is the kind Eileen Chang showed us—
To love fully while it lasts, and to part with grace when it ends.

These Women Shaped Me

At every stage of life, there are always those "heroines."

As a teenager, Yamaguchi Momoe taught me to say goodbye with grace.
In moments of despair, Scarlett O’Hara’s words carried me through the night.
In my career, Dong Mingzhu showed me the courage to fight for my dreams.
And in love, Eileen Chang taught me how to leave with dignity and peace.

Now, I hope to become someone else's “her.”
To live my life like Eileen Chang—
A flower blooming in the dust.

Through my stories, my words, and my choices,
I hope to tell those who come after:
No matter who you are or where you are,
There is always a light waiting to shine in your life.

And that light... to be continued.

Who are the women who have shaped your life?

Maybe they are public figures. Maybe they are family, teachers, or friends.
Women whose courage, tenderness, resilience, or wisdom helped you through difficult times.

I invite you to share your own "Her Story" in the comments.
Together, let’s keep passing on the power of women.

-To Be Continued EP018-