Have There Been Gentle Yet Tough Women in Your Life?
When people talk about "female strength," they usually picture something fierce—breaking barriers, standing tall, smashing ceilings. But honestly, the kind of strength that stays with me is quieter. It’s the sort that feels soft on the outside but has steel running right through the middle.
Women aren’t just one thing. We can be as gentle as silk and as unshakeable as concrete. And it’s these many faces of strength that shape us—and everyone around us.
Yang Jiang: Grace with Grit
First person who pops into my head when I think of real strength? Yang Jiang.
She was one of those rare women of her time—a literary force who brought Don Quixote into Chinese, stood beside literary legend Qian Zhongshu, and quietly carved out her own legacy.
One poem she translated has always stuck with me:
I strove with none, for none was worth my strife:
Nature I loved, and, next to Nature, Art:
I warm’d both hands before the fire of Life;
It sinks; and I am ready to depart.
Yang Jiang lived to 104, outliving the people she loved most. But through it all, she kept working, writing, and honouring the life she built. If that’s not tough, I don’t know what is.
My Little Café: Knowing When to Let Go
Maybe it was her influence that helped me realise what real strength looks like.
Back in 2013, I opened a café in New Zealand. Our boy was still small, my husband was flat out with work, and me? I was itching to do something that was mine. He helped me set it all up—renovations, staff, menus. At first, it felt like a dream. Busy, but good busy.
But reality hit hard.
It’s not easy running a café, especially when your staff keep calling in sick, and you’re pulling espressos one minute and flipping omelettes the next. By the time I got home each night, I was shattered—and there was still bookkeeping to do.
Meanwhile, my husband was pulling all-nighters. We barely had time to say "hi" over the kitchen bench. Home started feeling like just another shift.
And there I was, standing alone in the empty café late at night, staring out at the streetlights, asking myself:
"Am I being too stubborn?"
"Should I throw in the towel?"
"But if I keep going, am I dragging everyone down with me?"
Eventually, my husband said, "Don’t push yourself. We’ll figure something else out."
And that was that.
Turns out, sometimes letting go is its own kind of strength.
So in early 2017, I handed over the café keys, started consulting, and found peace again—this time through writing.
Wing Chun, Bruce Lee, and the Wisdom of Water
When I think about women’s strength, I can’t go past Wing Chun.
It’s one of the only martial arts created by a woman—Yim Wing Chun, back in Guangdong. To dodge a forced marriage, she learned clever, efficient moves that worked no matter your size. Instead of brute force, she used skill. Outsmarting the opponent, not outmuscling them. Classic.
And then there’s Bruce Lee, who took Wing Chun to the next level.
Through it, he discovered his famous life philosophy: "Be Water, my friend."
Empty your mind.
Be formless, shapeless, like water.
You put water into a cup, it becomes the cup.
You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle.
You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow or it can crash.
Be water, my friend.
Water might look harmless. But it’s unstoppable. It feeds life, moves mountains, and always finds a way through.
In Chinese culture, water has long been linked to feminine energy. Like Laozi said in the Tao Te Ching:
The highest good is like water.
Water benefits all things and doesn’t compete.
And honestly, what better way to describe the kind of strength I see in women?
Soft but powerful. Quiet but relentless.
The Women Who Lit the Way
There are so many women who’ve shaped how I see strength.
In high school, I was obsessed with Momoe Yamaguchi. She quit showbiz at the height of her fame—just 21—and left with a smile, saying, “Please forgive my selfishness. Thank you for your blessings. I promise you, I will be happy.” Brave, right? She taught me that freedom means following your heart.
Then there’s Scarlett O’Hara from Gone with the Wind. In the middle of chaos, she shrugged and said, “After all, tomorrow is another day.” That line has carried me through plenty of rough patches.
And of course, Dong Mingzhu. From sales rep to CEO of a global brand. Pure grit.
Each of them, in their own way, showed me different kinds of strength. And every time I hit a crossroads, I think back to them.
Before You Go...
So, what does female strength look like?
For me, it’s Yang Jiang’s calm, Yim Wing Chun’s smarts, Bruce Lee’s water wisdom, Momoe Yamaguchi’s boldness, Scarlett O’Hara’s grit, Dong Mingzhu’s drive—and yeah, that moment in my own little café when I realised happiness sometimes means walking away.
Sometimes strong is loud. Sometimes it’s quiet.
Sometimes it’s fierce. Sometimes it’s soft.
But it’s always there, carrying us into whoever we’re becoming next.
So here’s my question for you:
Have there been gentle yet tough women in your life?
Who are they, and how have they helped you keep going?
-To Be Continued EP020-
#女性力量 #FemaleStrength #GentleAndStrong #BeWaterMyFriend #咏春哲学
#WingChunWisdom #水的力量 #PowerOfWater
#未完待续 #ContinuingStory #粤女在路上 #GuangdongGirlOnTheGo
